Beauty

Just wanted to share some of God's beauty.

In Loving Remembrance

The past few days have been quite difficult for me and my family. My beloved grandmother passed away on Sunday. My Mama Jeanne. I still can not believe it. It seems so surreal. She had been very sick for a couple of months, and had been struggling with a few different things over the past several years, but now she is healed. No more sorrow, no more pain. She stands hand in hand with my granddaddy now in Heaven, singing praises to our glorious Lord.

My grandmother was a remarkable woman. She was strong, so very strong. She married my granddaddy at the age of fifteen and together they worked hard, side by side, on their dairy farm in Tennessee. Much later in life my granddaddy developed Alzheimer's, and Mama Jeanne remained faithful and strong. She stood by his side and cared for him for the next fifteen years until he passed away in 2005. Now they are together again.

Mama Jeanne loved the Lord more than life itself, and it showed. She always had a positive attitude about everything, and wanted nothing in life but to praise His name and share His love with others, which she did. We recently learned that she had written many songs, praises, and poems over the years, a talent my mom didn't even know she had. She had written a poem in 1976 about her salvation, and it was read at the funeral yesterday. Beautiful words about love and forgiveness. Mama Jeanne loved to sing and dance, her favorite thing in life was to worship God. She was a vision of the Fruit of the Spirit. Galatians 5:22-23 reads,

"But the Fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law."

Mama Jeanne truly possessed each of those attributes. She was incredibly loving and always had joy and peace in her heart. She was patient with everyone she encountered and always showed self-control. I've never known anyone as kind and gentle as my Mama Jeanne. A couple of days ago, while remembering all of these wonderful gifts, and memories that we had shared with Mama Jeanne, my sister commented that ultimately her heart had given out because she gave so much of it away. Mama Jeanne poured her heart into her faith, family and friends, and I aspire to live a life as a reflection of her.

She was the epitome of a perfect grandmother. I remember as a little girl visiting Mama Jeanne and Granddaddy being absolutely thrilled to be with them. My brother, sister, and I would color and draw pictures to hang on the refrigerator(all of which she kept and we found in a box recently), we played board games, watched movies, and helped in the garden. I used to play "Grocery Store" with Mama Jeanne in the kitchen. She and my dad both worked at Kroger at the time, so I wanted to play too. I would get different items out of the pantry and set them up on the shelves, price them, and pretend to buy them. I would help Mama Jeanne make her famous Chocolate and Biscuit, a recipe that has been passed down to my mom, sister, and me, and is my favorite meal. She would make homemade biscuits, and I got to flatten the dough and cut out the circles. My favorite part though was eating the leftover dough! Mama Jeanne also made the best fried chicken, banana pudding, and chocolate pie. I have yet to eat another pie that was better. I also remember sitting in a chair next to granddaddy sipping coffee together, except I would dunk graham crackers in mine(delicious, you should try it). Mama Jeanne used to read Pocahontas to me, and if I left my doll at home she made one out of a hand towel. She rolled it up, tied a rubber band around the top quarter and drew a face... Ragdoll. Christmas was her favorite time of year. She seemed to have the best Christmas tree and best ornaments ever. When I was still small, I would crawl under the tree and play with the different ornaments, the Little Drummer Boy, the mice, the baskets(used as an elevator system), and my other toys. I have so many memories of her and have been so blessed. I couldn't have asked for a better grandmother.

It's extremely difficult to write a summary of the life of such an amazing woman. This has been but a small glimpse of the love that I have received from my Mama Jeanne. So as I sit here in my room, with the sweet smell of flowers, from her funeral, filling the air, I am reminded of the gentle, sweet person that she was and I hope with all of my heart that I can become such a loving, kind, faithful, and Godly woman like her. Her legacy of love and compassion for others lives on and I pray that I am a reflection of that.

My family...

Michael, Me, Julie, Mama Jeanne, Mom, Dad

not pictured but forever family, Jeremy(bro-in-law)

and my sweet little nephew Benjamin

Flowers from the funeral...

... of her favorite color...

... In Loving Remembrance...

I Love You Mama Jeanne

Happy Plastic People

I know this blog is supposed to be about finding joy and being positive, but lets be honest, not every day is going to be a great day. So I strongly believe in venting, in some way, shape, or form. It's a good way to let it all out and begin to move on. But for this terrible day, I physically do not possess the words to describe how I feel. So I will express myself like millions of people do...through song...

Is there anyone that fails?

Is there anyone that falls?

Am I the only one in church today, feeling so small?

Cause when I take a look around

Everybody seems so strong

I know they'll soon discover

That I don't belong

So I'll tuck it all away, like everything's okay

If I make them all believe it, maybe I'll believe it too

So with a painted grin, I'll play the part again

So everyone will see me the way that I see them

Are we happy plastic people

Under shiny plastic steeples

With walls around our weakness

And smiles to hide our pain

But if the invitation's open

To every heart that has been broken

Maybe then we'll close the curtain

On our stained glass masquerade.

Is there anyone who's been there

Are there any hands to raise

Am I the only one who's traded

In the altar for a stage

The performance is convincing

And we know every line by heart

Only when no one is watching

Can we really fall apart

But would it set me free

If I dared to let you see

The truth behind the person

That you imagine me to be

Would your arms to open

Or would you walk away

Would the love of Jesus

Be enough to make you stay

...

Is there anyone that fails

Is there anyone that falls

Am I the only one in church today feeling so small?

-Casting Crowns

not-so-positivelyblue

We'll I've been having one of those days....actually the past few days. I've been stressed out about the piles of homework assignments, papers, and projects that keep stacking up and I can't seem to figure out how to tackle any of it. Plus, not to sound pathetic and "oh woe is me," but I've been kind of lonely. My best friend lives about 45 mins away, which doesn't seem far, but with our schedules, we can only see each other, or even talk for that matter, every now and then. So it makes it hard on days like these when I just need a friend. Things have just changed with life over the past year or so. A lot of friends have graduated, moved away, gotten married, or just fallen away, all the while I'm still struggling for an ounce of a social life with going to school 5 days a week and working 5 nights a week. But hey, thats life right? I know I just have to get up and do something. Mark things of my checklist and press on. So even though I've been not-so-positivelyblue lately, I know I have a lot to look forward to in life, and a lot to strive for.

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Apparently the fortune cookie I got last night knew exactly

how I've been feeling...coincidence? I think not.

Some may call it a God thing :)

Miss Procrastinator

I can give you 12 reasons why I keep putting off starting my research paper...

Maybe I should just let Lumpy do all my reading...

:)

Decisions Decisions

I have recently run into an opportunity to go to Israel. The trip would be for 10 days in February. It's not a mission trip like I originally thought when I first heard about it, but rather an educational trip. The tour hosts are the pastor and his wife of my hometown church, who have been to Israel before. I think the trip would be a fantastic spiritual and educational experience, and very humbling. We would travel to different sites and cities like the Sea of Galilee and Jerusalem, all the while studying God's word.

I'm not sure if I necessarily need to go, but I know I want to. I would love to travel more, visit a very unique and culturally different country, and be able to photograph the people and culture. But first and foremost I think it would be a big learning and growing experience for me. And it might help me in trying to decide what to do post college. Should I try to find an internship or assistantship with a photographer? Keep my job as a server and try to get my own photography business going? Apply to travel magazines? Or dive into missions and maybe find a photography job with the International Mission Board or the North American Mission Board? And going off that, should I look into going to Seminary for a graduate Missions degree? I just don't know. Really the only thing holding me back from jumping right into this opportunity to visit Israel is school. I would miss two days of one class and three days of two other classes. Being my last semester of college(YAY!) I don't know if this is a good idea. But then again, it's just a week and a half, how much would I really miss? And of course there's always the financial aspect. Can I afford it? Will there be support available from others? I just don't know.

So as you can see I've got some decision making to do, along with lots of prayer. So what do you think? Should I go for it if I'm feeling led to do so? Or should I hold off because the timing just isn't that great? Keep me in your prayers please!

15 Things That Make Me Happy

Sidewalk chalk.

My nephew playing in the sprinkler.

Larry the Lamb.

Our Atlanta Braves.

Static hair-do's.

The colors of fall.

Button bracelets.

Anything Toy Story related.

Abstractions of colors and textures.

The sound of giggles in the air.

A flavor festival in my mouth.

Rubber ducks.

The Krog Street bridge to nowhere.

Did I mention my nephew?

And of course, cloud filled, blue skies.

What things make you happy?

:)

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