May 10, 2011. That's the day I've been anticipating since August 18, 2006. Graduation day. Finally.
But with all this anticipation comes questions. "What are you going to do?" "Have you applied to any jobs?" "Do you have any jobs lined up." "Are you going to photograph weddings?" "Are you going to move back home to save money for a while?"
Also with the anticipation and questions comes frustrations. For some reason, when I tell people, friends and strangers alike, that I am about to graduate with a photography degree, they freak out. Well, the strangers freak out. They all ask some of the previously stated questions, and as soon as I say wedding photography they feel the need to tell me what I should and shouldn't do.
"I have a friend who does that, you should do 'this'." or "Have you thought about 'this'? You should look into that. You should check "So and So" out, they're really good. My friend does 'this', you should do 'that'."
It makes me want to scream. Maybe I'm over exaggerating the whole thing, but it happens ALL THE TIME. Especially with customers at work or adults from church that I hardly ever see or talk to. I mean, I have spent the past five years seeking this degree. If you don't have some sort of photographic or visual arts degree, then do not tell me what I should and should not do. 98.87% of the time they don't even give me a chance to tell them my "plan." I barely get the words "wedding photography" out of my mouth before they freak out, cut me off, and begin their rants. I know they mean well, but good grief. I may not know what I'm doing, but I know what I'm doing. So please, just stop before I throw it all away and decide to move back home and sleep for a year.
With that being said, I'm just going to tell you my story. Where my inspiration comes from. Why I am not worried about "what I'm going to do when I graduate." What I actually plan on doing, since I can't seem to get a chance to tell someone. And why I am doing this. This is my story.
I got my first camera in 8th grade and started a scrapbook of me and my friends. Of course that only lasted about 3 years, but I did receive a new camera my senior year I believe. Just a little point and shoot, nothing fancy. I went to Europe after graduation, to Italy and France, and realized how beautiful the world was outside of Small Town, Ga. I loved being able to take pictures of the architecture, landscape and history in Europe, and I guess that's where I made my decision to pursue photography. Since then I have also been on a couple of international mission trips, and it has really sparked my interest in portrait photography. I knew I was going to study Visual Arts, but had no idea what I wanted to do with that degree. You know how most kids dream about what they want to be when they grow up? Well my dreams may not have seemed big to others but to me they were perfect. I was, have been, and still am completely content with being a stay-at-home mom someday and still "make" art on the side, just like my mom. Over the years her artistic talents have varied from in-home murals(when that was popular back in the late 90s and early 00s), to floral arrangements, creating and decorating for numerous church events and weddings, interior design and remodeling(alongside my very talented dad), to little craft work here and there, and now she is starting a new job as managing a new ladies boutique on Main Street, Small Town, GA (I'm not kidding, it really is on Main Street) in which she is decorating the store and picking out all sorts of wonderful fashions and jewelry. All of these talents she is blessed with, my heart connects with.
The past 5 years in college I have tried to figure out "what I am going to do when I grow up," and I think this past year God has slowly started to reveal to me what that might be. For years I have dreamed of owning my own home, a bungalow style home that I could paint, decorate, fill with vintage and antique finds, and finally get rid of all my "apartment stuff." I want real dishes, real furniture, colored walls, and a yard for my dream dog as well. Going back to that stay-at-home mom thing, though I always dreamed and assumed that's how I'd end up, I was unsure with how I felt about kids, until 2009. My sister had the most beautiful baby boy I have ever seen, and I am head over heals in love with that kid. My little Benjamin. He will be two on April 2, and I still can't get over him; can't get over how much I love him and am now so incredibly looking forward to having my own kids someday.
Well, in order to have kids, there is kind of an important factor that has to be there, a husband. (Which is going to bring me to my point about photography...sort of) Probably every girl's dream growing up is her wedding day. Not for me. I never dreamed about that, at least not that I remember. It has only been the past couple of years that I finally started to dream. You see, I am still waiting for that one God is preparing for me. And I know God is still preparing me for him. The hardest part of it all is the waiting period. (And now I'm starting to cry, haha) As I am nearing graduation, turning 23, and starting to look for a job, I thought I'd would at least be dating "Mr. Right" by now, but God has other plans for me, and I have to daily remind myself of that. My day will come, my "prince" will come. But it's hard, so on one hand I am hesitant to pursue wedding photography because honestly it kind of depresses me sometimes, but on the other hand I just love the thought of capturing those precious moments of that perfect day for couples. To see them so in love, so happy; it warms my heart and brings me back to my dreams. Also, I've realized that I can't let this waiting time in my life consume me, depress me. So I want to laugh in Satan's face, turn away the sadness, and doubt, and pursue this career with a positive mindset, joyful heart, and allow God to use what little I can offer to make a difference. I want to use my abilities to be who I was created to be, to love people, to glorify God through the images I create, and to keep dreaming. To let myself get caught up in daydreams of the one He has for me, and what it will be like on my wedding day, all the while capturing others' dreams on their special day.
Getting back to my point, as graduation nears and more pressure is being placed on my shoulders to figure out my life, I try not to worry. I know God has it all in His hands. He will guide me along the path. He will place people in my life to help me and encourage me. For now, my plans are to get the ball rolling with my future and career. I'm working on getting an Etsy account and start creating craft work for weddings...all occasions really. Wedding tree "guest books" and other fingerprint "guests books" are in the works(more about that later), as well as hand painted signs and what have you. I also have just created a Facebook page for my photography, until I can get a real website up and running. (Check it out: Sarah LaRue Photography) And of course I am hoping to start my own wedding and portrait photography business sometime in the future, but before I jump into that with both feet, I want more experience. Though I've done a few "portrait" sessions and am mostly confident, part of me is hesitant for this main reason: at my school, the photography program, and entire visual arts program at that, focuses on the fine art aspect of photography. The past five years I have been taught how create conceptual work and pushed towards creating work that will sell in galleries, museums, coffee shops etc. Commercial photography is somewhat laughed at or frowned upon. But I went there to learn how to use a camera and am coming out with a great experience. Unfortunately, portraiture is not really taught, so though I have an idea about what works best, I'm still unsure, especially with flashes. With all of that being said, I am looking for assistant work. I've made a couple of connections and am waiting to see how things turn out. In the mean time, I will gladly without any hesitation do engagements, newborn, children, and family portraits. It's the weddings that I'm waiting for more experience with through assisting before I jump in by myself. I mean, those are kind of a big deal.
So there, ya have it. That's my "after graduation plan." I'm not in a rush (not too much that is), and I'm definitely not worried. God has it under control. I may not have a clue what it is He has in store for me, but this is what I've got so far. To wrap it up I'll share this song with you. It's like they read my mind or something.
That was my story, this is my song.
