A Christmas Story

It's that time of year again, the Christmas season. For some reason, this year I am particularly excited about it. My mom always decorates our house so beautifully and my eyes and heart just bask in its warmth when I walk in the door. You know that feeling that most student's get when they come home for the first time in a while? That "its good to home" feeling? Well my parents live 2o minutes away from me and I usually see them at least once a week, so that "good feeling" doesn't really kick in... until the holidays. After stressing through finals then finally coming home to a house you'd swear came straight out of a Southern Living magazine, that's when I say, "It's good to be home." It feels like home, and I love it.

I am a traditionalist when it comes to holidays. I want all traditions to stay the same year after year. I know this is a bit unreasonable, but I am probably the most sentimental person you'd ever meet, and holiday and family traditions mean a lot to me. Of course things change, and though they may not fit into my snow globe view of a LaRue family Christmas, over time those changes have and will continue to become new traditions. I guess its all mainly my sister's fault. Once she went off to college in '02 and met her now husband, things changed. I'm kidding, no bitterness here. It has only made things even better, with an amazing brother-in-law and now the most precious 19 month old nephew, and I couldn't be more happy to share old family traditions with them, as well as starting new ones. Last year was my nephew's first Christmas and the first Christmas Julie, my sister, was not waiting with me and Michael upstairs in the morning. It was different, a little sad, but we joined them later and started a new tradition. And I am perfectly fine with that.

While growing up, our Christmas traditions started with a special Christmas Eve dinner. Followed by watching George C. Scott's version of A Christmas Carol (don't worry we watched the Muppet's version too). Drinking hot cocoa or coffee while sitting by the fire was a must. And I always had to watch the claymation Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. Julie and I always got new pajamas, and before running off to bed the three of us would pose for the camera while "hanging our stockings with care."

In the morning we would anxiously wait upstairs while my dad showered and put on his jeans and a flannel shirt, and my mom (still in Christmas pajamas) put on makeup... Julie and I followed this trend as well. Our parents would then go downstairs to start a fire and a pot of coffee, which doesn't sound like it would take very long, but every year we waited and waited all the while Dad poked his head around the corner, taunting us.

Finally we got the okay to go. Running down the stairs, into the den, gleaming with delight as we initially saw our "big" unwrapped present from Santa and stockings stuffed so tight you'd think they'd burst. All of this was followed by opening the rest of the presents while listening to Christmas music, then our breakfast feast of blueberry pancakes with homemade blueberry syrup, sausage links, fried potatoes, and ambrosia.

. . . . . . . . .

I'll be honest, as a kid I was just extremely excited about watching Rudolph and opening presents. But throughout high school and now college, I began to realize that getting those gifts on Christmas morning wasn't what gave me that warm, fuzzy feeling inside. It was the giving. I've noticed that what excited me most was the look on my family's faces when they opened their gifts. I really want to give gifts that will touch the heart. I mean that's really a reflection of what Christmas is all about right? A celebration of God's greatest gift of all, Jesus. That's all I really need.

All in all, I want this year to be extra special. My family has gone through quite a lot of emotional stress recently. If you've read my previous posts you'll know that my grandmother passed away just two and a half weeks ago. My Mama Jeanne love, absolutely loved Christmas. She was with us every year for that Christmas Eve dinner, and would return in the morning with the warmest of hugs (and presents too!). The first of our traditions changed when she moved to Florida in 2005, after my granddaddy passed away, to live with my uncle and cousin. Of course Christmas wasn't the same without her there.

I know this year wont be easy. But the important thing is that we will all be together, and we can celebrate her life and honor her on that special day. To help make Christmas even better for my family this year, I want to do something real special. My heart is full with a longing to do something great, but I just haven't figured it out yet. What else do you do for a brother who has only asked for gift cards and mountain bike gear that you don't even have a clue what it is? Or what special something can you give a sister and brother in law who just want cookbooks and architecture books? What meaningful gift do you give a dad who has lost his job this past year(but thankfully has been blessed with another) who year after year says he doesn't want anything? And what on earth do you do for a mom who's faithfulness and strength you can't even begin to fathom, as she has lost her own mother recently? I'm talking about gifts from the heart. Whether homemade or store bought, that one little thing they didn't ask for, but it was exactly what they needed. Suggestions?

I have a perfect example of what I'm talking about. In December of 2007, I had no idea what to get my mom for Christmas. Of course she always says she doesn't need anything, but I can't imagine not giving something to my mom on Christmas morning. So I got in the car just three days before Christmas and headed south. I showed up on Mama Jeanne's doorstep in Tampa, FL, unannounced. Told her to pack her bags, and that she was coming home for Christmas. She stayed with us til New Years day. I will never forget the look on my mom's face when I walked in the door the next night, with Mama Jeanne behind me. That was my mom's gift that year.

So as school ends and Christmas nears, I long to do something more. Something more than a gift card or book. Something with love. My family deserves the best. So what do you think? How can I make this holiday season particularly joy-filled and heartfelt?

Beauty

Just wanted to share some of God's beauty.

In Loving Remembrance

The past few days have been quite difficult for me and my family. My beloved grandmother passed away on Sunday. My Mama Jeanne. I still can not believe it. It seems so surreal. She had been very sick for a couple of months, and had been struggling with a few different things over the past several years, but now she is healed. No more sorrow, no more pain. She stands hand in hand with my granddaddy now in Heaven, singing praises to our glorious Lord.

My grandmother was a remarkable woman. She was strong, so very strong. She married my granddaddy at the age of fifteen and together they worked hard, side by side, on their dairy farm in Tennessee. Much later in life my granddaddy developed Alzheimer's, and Mama Jeanne remained faithful and strong. She stood by his side and cared for him for the next fifteen years until he passed away in 2005. Now they are together again.

Mama Jeanne loved the Lord more than life itself, and it showed. She always had a positive attitude about everything, and wanted nothing in life but to praise His name and share His love with others, which she did. We recently learned that she had written many songs, praises, and poems over the years, a talent my mom didn't even know she had. She had written a poem in 1976 about her salvation, and it was read at the funeral yesterday. Beautiful words about love and forgiveness. Mama Jeanne loved to sing and dance, her favorite thing in life was to worship God. She was a vision of the Fruit of the Spirit. Galatians 5:22-23 reads,

"But the Fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law."

Mama Jeanne truly possessed each of those attributes. She was incredibly loving and always had joy and peace in her heart. She was patient with everyone she encountered and always showed self-control. I've never known anyone as kind and gentle as my Mama Jeanne. A couple of days ago, while remembering all of these wonderful gifts, and memories that we had shared with Mama Jeanne, my sister commented that ultimately her heart had given out because she gave so much of it away. Mama Jeanne poured her heart into her faith, family and friends, and I aspire to live a life as a reflection of her.

She was the epitome of a perfect grandmother. I remember as a little girl visiting Mama Jeanne and Granddaddy being absolutely thrilled to be with them. My brother, sister, and I would color and draw pictures to hang on the refrigerator(all of which she kept and we found in a box recently), we played board games, watched movies, and helped in the garden. I used to play "Grocery Store" with Mama Jeanne in the kitchen. She and my dad both worked at Kroger at the time, so I wanted to play too. I would get different items out of the pantry and set them up on the shelves, price them, and pretend to buy them. I would help Mama Jeanne make her famous Chocolate and Biscuit, a recipe that has been passed down to my mom, sister, and me, and is my favorite meal. She would make homemade biscuits, and I got to flatten the dough and cut out the circles. My favorite part though was eating the leftover dough! Mama Jeanne also made the best fried chicken, banana pudding, and chocolate pie. I have yet to eat another pie that was better. I also remember sitting in a chair next to granddaddy sipping coffee together, except I would dunk graham crackers in mine(delicious, you should try it). Mama Jeanne used to read Pocahontas to me, and if I left my doll at home she made one out of a hand towel. She rolled it up, tied a rubber band around the top quarter and drew a face... Ragdoll. Christmas was her favorite time of year. She seemed to have the best Christmas tree and best ornaments ever. When I was still small, I would crawl under the tree and play with the different ornaments, the Little Drummer Boy, the mice, the baskets(used as an elevator system), and my other toys. I have so many memories of her and have been so blessed. I couldn't have asked for a better grandmother.

It's extremely difficult to write a summary of the life of such an amazing woman. This has been but a small glimpse of the love that I have received from my Mama Jeanne. So as I sit here in my room, with the sweet smell of flowers, from her funeral, filling the air, I am reminded of the gentle, sweet person that she was and I hope with all of my heart that I can become such a loving, kind, faithful, and Godly woman like her. Her legacy of love and compassion for others lives on and I pray that I am a reflection of that.

My family...

Michael, Me, Julie, Mama Jeanne, Mom, Dad

not pictured but forever family, Jeremy(bro-in-law)

and my sweet little nephew Benjamin

Flowers from the funeral...

... of her favorite color...

... In Loving Remembrance...

I Love You Mama Jeanne