Positively Blue

I have been in a great mood the past couple of weeks and I have loved it! (well, with the exception of today, which was a terrible day at work, but that's another story, about a pizza place) School is out for winter break, Christmas is just around the corner, and I've finally been able to have some fun! I've gotten the chance to catch up with a couple of friends that I haven't seen in a while, been to a couple of Christmas parties, and have met some really awesome people. The past couple of years have been a lack of fun and social life for me because of school and work, and now that I am nearing the end of school, I think I'm finally getting the chance to get out again. Praise the Lord!

I'm really excited about the coming weeks and months, and can't wait to see what God has in store for me! Thank you to my friends who have brought me out of my work and school routine, allowing me to have some fun again! Looking forward to more time with friends and loved ones. The weather may be a bit frightful, and the people of Georgia may be dumb and incompetent when it comes to driving in even the slightest bit of rain, and customers at work may be not so giving this season, but this blue-eyed, redhead is definitely staying Positively Blue.

Wish List

This year my wish list is a bit on the eclectic side.

Every good southern girl needs a set of Ball mason jars.

Because this umbrella just screams awesome...

I am quite obsessed with Toy Story

I desperately need something besides a 18-55mm...

What kind of photographer am I?

Paula Deen cookware set... enough said.

Only the best Christmas movie ever. They're names were

Sarah and Julie. Just like me and my sister.

Because macro is better.

A tale as old as time.

Isn't it beautiful? Mix and match dishes, please.

But my number one wish list item...

My very first pair of genuine cowboy boots.

What's on your wish list this year?

:)

A Christmas Story

It's that time of year again, the Christmas season. For some reason, this year I am particularly excited about it. My mom always decorates our house so beautifully and my eyes and heart just bask in its warmth when I walk in the door. You know that feeling that most student's get when they come home for the first time in a while? That "its good to home" feeling? Well my parents live 2o minutes away from me and I usually see them at least once a week, so that "good feeling" doesn't really kick in... until the holidays. After stressing through finals then finally coming home to a house you'd swear came straight out of a Southern Living magazine, that's when I say, "It's good to be home." It feels like home, and I love it.

I am a traditionalist when it comes to holidays. I want all traditions to stay the same year after year. I know this is a bit unreasonable, but I am probably the most sentimental person you'd ever meet, and holiday and family traditions mean a lot to me. Of course things change, and though they may not fit into my snow globe view of a LaRue family Christmas, over time those changes have and will continue to become new traditions. I guess its all mainly my sister's fault. Once she went off to college in '02 and met her now husband, things changed. I'm kidding, no bitterness here. It has only made things even better, with an amazing brother-in-law and now the most precious 19 month old nephew, and I couldn't be more happy to share old family traditions with them, as well as starting new ones. Last year was my nephew's first Christmas and the first Christmas Julie, my sister, was not waiting with me and Michael upstairs in the morning. It was different, a little sad, but we joined them later and started a new tradition. And I am perfectly fine with that.

While growing up, our Christmas traditions started with a special Christmas Eve dinner. Followed by watching George C. Scott's version of A Christmas Carol (don't worry we watched the Muppet's version too). Drinking hot cocoa or coffee while sitting by the fire was a must. And I always had to watch the claymation Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. Julie and I always got new pajamas, and before running off to bed the three of us would pose for the camera while "hanging our stockings with care."

In the morning we would anxiously wait upstairs while my dad showered and put on his jeans and a flannel shirt, and my mom (still in Christmas pajamas) put on makeup... Julie and I followed this trend as well. Our parents would then go downstairs to start a fire and a pot of coffee, which doesn't sound like it would take very long, but every year we waited and waited all the while Dad poked his head around the corner, taunting us.

Finally we got the okay to go. Running down the stairs, into the den, gleaming with delight as we initially saw our "big" unwrapped present from Santa and stockings stuffed so tight you'd think they'd burst. All of this was followed by opening the rest of the presents while listening to Christmas music, then our breakfast feast of blueberry pancakes with homemade blueberry syrup, sausage links, fried potatoes, and ambrosia.

. . . . . . . . .

I'll be honest, as a kid I was just extremely excited about watching Rudolph and opening presents. But throughout high school and now college, I began to realize that getting those gifts on Christmas morning wasn't what gave me that warm, fuzzy feeling inside. It was the giving. I've noticed that what excited me most was the look on my family's faces when they opened their gifts. I really want to give gifts that will touch the heart. I mean that's really a reflection of what Christmas is all about right? A celebration of God's greatest gift of all, Jesus. That's all I really need.

All in all, I want this year to be extra special. My family has gone through quite a lot of emotional stress recently. If you've read my previous posts you'll know that my grandmother passed away just two and a half weeks ago. My Mama Jeanne love, absolutely loved Christmas. She was with us every year for that Christmas Eve dinner, and would return in the morning with the warmest of hugs (and presents too!). The first of our traditions changed when she moved to Florida in 2005, after my granddaddy passed away, to live with my uncle and cousin. Of course Christmas wasn't the same without her there.

I know this year wont be easy. But the important thing is that we will all be together, and we can celebrate her life and honor her on that special day. To help make Christmas even better for my family this year, I want to do something real special. My heart is full with a longing to do something great, but I just haven't figured it out yet. What else do you do for a brother who has only asked for gift cards and mountain bike gear that you don't even have a clue what it is? Or what special something can you give a sister and brother in law who just want cookbooks and architecture books? What meaningful gift do you give a dad who has lost his job this past year(but thankfully has been blessed with another) who year after year says he doesn't want anything? And what on earth do you do for a mom who's faithfulness and strength you can't even begin to fathom, as she has lost her own mother recently? I'm talking about gifts from the heart. Whether homemade or store bought, that one little thing they didn't ask for, but it was exactly what they needed. Suggestions?

I have a perfect example of what I'm talking about. In December of 2007, I had no idea what to get my mom for Christmas. Of course she always says she doesn't need anything, but I can't imagine not giving something to my mom on Christmas morning. So I got in the car just three days before Christmas and headed south. I showed up on Mama Jeanne's doorstep in Tampa, FL, unannounced. Told her to pack her bags, and that she was coming home for Christmas. She stayed with us til New Years day. I will never forget the look on my mom's face when I walked in the door the next night, with Mama Jeanne behind me. That was my mom's gift that year.

So as school ends and Christmas nears, I long to do something more. Something more than a gift card or book. Something with love. My family deserves the best. So what do you think? How can I make this holiday season particularly joy-filled and heartfelt?

Beauty

Just wanted to share some of God's beauty.

In Loving Remembrance

The past few days have been quite difficult for me and my family. My beloved grandmother passed away on Sunday. My Mama Jeanne. I still can not believe it. It seems so surreal. She had been very sick for a couple of months, and had been struggling with a few different things over the past several years, but now she is healed. No more sorrow, no more pain. She stands hand in hand with my granddaddy now in Heaven, singing praises to our glorious Lord.

My grandmother was a remarkable woman. She was strong, so very strong. She married my granddaddy at the age of fifteen and together they worked hard, side by side, on their dairy farm in Tennessee. Much later in life my granddaddy developed Alzheimer's, and Mama Jeanne remained faithful and strong. She stood by his side and cared for him for the next fifteen years until he passed away in 2005. Now they are together again.

Mama Jeanne loved the Lord more than life itself, and it showed. She always had a positive attitude about everything, and wanted nothing in life but to praise His name and share His love with others, which she did. We recently learned that she had written many songs, praises, and poems over the years, a talent my mom didn't even know she had. She had written a poem in 1976 about her salvation, and it was read at the funeral yesterday. Beautiful words about love and forgiveness. Mama Jeanne loved to sing and dance, her favorite thing in life was to worship God. She was a vision of the Fruit of the Spirit. Galatians 5:22-23 reads,

"But the Fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law."

Mama Jeanne truly possessed each of those attributes. She was incredibly loving and always had joy and peace in her heart. She was patient with everyone she encountered and always showed self-control. I've never known anyone as kind and gentle as my Mama Jeanne. A couple of days ago, while remembering all of these wonderful gifts, and memories that we had shared with Mama Jeanne, my sister commented that ultimately her heart had given out because she gave so much of it away. Mama Jeanne poured her heart into her faith, family and friends, and I aspire to live a life as a reflection of her.

She was the epitome of a perfect grandmother. I remember as a little girl visiting Mama Jeanne and Granddaddy being absolutely thrilled to be with them. My brother, sister, and I would color and draw pictures to hang on the refrigerator(all of which she kept and we found in a box recently), we played board games, watched movies, and helped in the garden. I used to play "Grocery Store" with Mama Jeanne in the kitchen. She and my dad both worked at Kroger at the time, so I wanted to play too. I would get different items out of the pantry and set them up on the shelves, price them, and pretend to buy them. I would help Mama Jeanne make her famous Chocolate and Biscuit, a recipe that has been passed down to my mom, sister, and me, and is my favorite meal. She would make homemade biscuits, and I got to flatten the dough and cut out the circles. My favorite part though was eating the leftover dough! Mama Jeanne also made the best fried chicken, banana pudding, and chocolate pie. I have yet to eat another pie that was better. I also remember sitting in a chair next to granddaddy sipping coffee together, except I would dunk graham crackers in mine(delicious, you should try it). Mama Jeanne used to read Pocahontas to me, and if I left my doll at home she made one out of a hand towel. She rolled it up, tied a rubber band around the top quarter and drew a face... Ragdoll. Christmas was her favorite time of year. She seemed to have the best Christmas tree and best ornaments ever. When I was still small, I would crawl under the tree and play with the different ornaments, the Little Drummer Boy, the mice, the baskets(used as an elevator system), and my other toys. I have so many memories of her and have been so blessed. I couldn't have asked for a better grandmother.

It's extremely difficult to write a summary of the life of such an amazing woman. This has been but a small glimpse of the love that I have received from my Mama Jeanne. So as I sit here in my room, with the sweet smell of flowers, from her funeral, filling the air, I am reminded of the gentle, sweet person that she was and I hope with all of my heart that I can become such a loving, kind, faithful, and Godly woman like her. Her legacy of love and compassion for others lives on and I pray that I am a reflection of that.

My family...

Michael, Me, Julie, Mama Jeanne, Mom, Dad

not pictured but forever family, Jeremy(bro-in-law)

and my sweet little nephew Benjamin

Flowers from the funeral...

... of her favorite color...

... In Loving Remembrance...

I Love You Mama Jeanne

Happy Plastic People

I know this blog is supposed to be about finding joy and being positive, but lets be honest, not every day is going to be a great day. So I strongly believe in venting, in some way, shape, or form. It's a good way to let it all out and begin to move on. But for this terrible day, I physically do not possess the words to describe how I feel. So I will express myself like millions of people do...through song...

Is there anyone that fails?

Is there anyone that falls?

Am I the only one in church today, feeling so small?

Cause when I take a look around

Everybody seems so strong

I know they'll soon discover

That I don't belong

So I'll tuck it all away, like everything's okay

If I make them all believe it, maybe I'll believe it too

So with a painted grin, I'll play the part again

So everyone will see me the way that I see them

Are we happy plastic people

Under shiny plastic steeples

With walls around our weakness

And smiles to hide our pain

But if the invitation's open

To every heart that has been broken

Maybe then we'll close the curtain

On our stained glass masquerade.

Is there anyone who's been there

Are there any hands to raise

Am I the only one who's traded

In the altar for a stage

The performance is convincing

And we know every line by heart

Only when no one is watching

Can we really fall apart

But would it set me free

If I dared to let you see

The truth behind the person

That you imagine me to be

Would your arms to open

Or would you walk away

Would the love of Jesus

Be enough to make you stay

...

Is there anyone that fails

Is there anyone that falls

Am I the only one in church today feeling so small?

-Casting Crowns

not-so-positivelyblue

We'll I've been having one of those days....actually the past few days. I've been stressed out about the piles of homework assignments, papers, and projects that keep stacking up and I can't seem to figure out how to tackle any of it. Plus, not to sound pathetic and "oh woe is me," but I've been kind of lonely. My best friend lives about 45 mins away, which doesn't seem far, but with our schedules, we can only see each other, or even talk for that matter, every now and then. So it makes it hard on days like these when I just need a friend. Things have just changed with life over the past year or so. A lot of friends have graduated, moved away, gotten married, or just fallen away, all the while I'm still struggling for an ounce of a social life with going to school 5 days a week and working 5 nights a week. But hey, thats life right? I know I just have to get up and do something. Mark things of my checklist and press on. So even though I've been not-so-positivelyblue lately, I know I have a lot to look forward to in life, and a lot to strive for.

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Apparently the fortune cookie I got last night knew exactly

how I've been feeling...coincidence? I think not.

Some may call it a God thing :)

Miss Procrastinator

I can give you 12 reasons why I keep putting off starting my research paper...

Maybe I should just let Lumpy do all my reading...

:)

Decisions Decisions

I have recently run into an opportunity to go to Israel. The trip would be for 10 days in February. It's not a mission trip like I originally thought when I first heard about it, but rather an educational trip. The tour hosts are the pastor and his wife of my hometown church, who have been to Israel before. I think the trip would be a fantastic spiritual and educational experience, and very humbling. We would travel to different sites and cities like the Sea of Galilee and Jerusalem, all the while studying God's word.

I'm not sure if I necessarily need to go, but I know I want to. I would love to travel more, visit a very unique and culturally different country, and be able to photograph the people and culture. But first and foremost I think it would be a big learning and growing experience for me. And it might help me in trying to decide what to do post college. Should I try to find an internship or assistantship with a photographer? Keep my job as a server and try to get my own photography business going? Apply to travel magazines? Or dive into missions and maybe find a photography job with the International Mission Board or the North American Mission Board? And going off that, should I look into going to Seminary for a graduate Missions degree? I just don't know. Really the only thing holding me back from jumping right into this opportunity to visit Israel is school. I would miss two days of one class and three days of two other classes. Being my last semester of college(YAY!) I don't know if this is a good idea. But then again, it's just a week and a half, how much would I really miss? And of course there's always the financial aspect. Can I afford it? Will there be support available from others? I just don't know.

So as you can see I've got some decision making to do, along with lots of prayer. So what do you think? Should I go for it if I'm feeling led to do so? Or should I hold off because the timing just isn't that great? Keep me in your prayers please!

15 Things That Make Me Happy

Sidewalk chalk.

My nephew playing in the sprinkler.

Larry the Lamb.

Our Atlanta Braves.

Static hair-do's.

The colors of fall.

Button bracelets.

Anything Toy Story related.

Abstractions of colors and textures.

The sound of giggles in the air.

A flavor festival in my mouth.

Rubber ducks.

The Krog Street bridge to nowhere.

Did I mention my nephew?

And of course, cloud filled, blue skies.

What things make you happy?

:)

Click images for better quality view.

Surely We Can Change

I have attempted to make a post three times now, each time I started writing and writing, and I got this feeling that I shouldn't post what I had written. I'm not really sure why, it just wasn't the right time I guess. So I'm starting over. My mind has been racing over the past few days and it's difficult to sum up, but I've got to get something out.

This past weekend was pretty rough. My family and I went to Nashville to visit my grandmother, Mama Jeanne. She is not doing well at all, and basically her body is shutting down. The doctors have told us that they give her 1-3 months. Heart breaking. We just went to spend time with her and keep her company. It was so good to see her. And it was extremely difficult to leave. Tears rolled down each of our faces. I pray that I can return for another visit very soon. We also stopped in Chattanooga on our way home to visit my dad's parents. My granddaddy is in an assisted living home, so that was another difficult part of our trip. I spent the rest of my Sunday night and all day Monday with a heavy heart. I could literally feel the pressure on my chest. So all this sadness was really getting to me. I had to get out of the apartment and go for a run. Running, though somewhat painful, is always refreshing to me. It gives me time to think, calm down, and rejuvenate. So twenty-five minutes later, I was refreshed with a confidence in knowing that God has a plan for my family and He holds us in His hands.

On a different note... that little run I took was the start of becoming a healthier me. The combination of busy college life and working at a pizza place the past four years has contributed to laziness and bad eating habits. The result...well lets just say I'm getting some "curves." So I've decided to do something about it. No more pizza, no more breadsticks, no more fast food, and no more soda. Cutting back on the white bread and sugar. This is not necessarily a diet, just making healthy choices. As best I can. I struggle with self control when it comes to sweets especially. So hopefully I can stick to this. At least until I've gained some self control and am satisfied with how its going. So goodbye my sweet Dr. Pepper... hello hydration. Goodbye pepperoni pizza... hello fruits and veggies. Wish me luck!

Here's to a happy heart and healthy body, with a refreshed attitude and positive mindset. :)

Hipstamatic

New iphone app that shoots lomography style. Love it.

So much to do... so little time.

fall in full force

If you have read my previous posts, you already know how much I love fall. I could seriously go on and on about all the wonderful things about this season, but I'll spare you the details.

So the greater Atlanta area finally got a break from the sweltering 90+ temperatures this past week and weekend. Perfect way to bring in the month of October. And on top of that, I got to spend the weekend in the north Georgia mountains. My best friend from high school was getting married on an absolutely beautiful farm about twenty minutes outside of Helen. So Friday afternoon, after I went to class and packed my bags, I hit the road and headed up GA-400 straight into Helen. I had a full tank of gas and my radio set to some good ol' classic rock. An hour and 45 mins later I stepped out of the hustle and bustle of the city life and into the beautiful, fresh mountain air.

That night included the dress rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. Then some much needed sleep, Saturday was going to be a long day. The next morning a few of us enjoyed some breakfast at the good old Huddle House(my first time...I prefer Waffle House) Then we had some down time and I got to see some real bears at a Bear Park. They were so big and so cute! Giant teddy bears. I just wanted to hug them all. We went for a little walk then headed back to the hotel to gather up our stuff and head out to the farm. Of course we were running a little late, so me and 4 other bridesmaids and 1 bride scurried to get ready. Hair pins and makeup was scattered all over the place, as the photographer hurried us on. We all got ready in under an hour and were ready for pictures. Let me just tell you, the setting for this wedding was absolutely gorgeous. The farm house and beautiful ruins of an old school house were set up on a hill with the beautiful blue mountains in the distance. Of course the white and green theme for the whole occasion was beautiful and went perfectly with the setting. The ceremony went perfectly and the reception was soon to follow...inside the open ruins of the school house. So beautiful. All your typical wedding traditions and events took place and it was time for the happy couple to be on their way.... we wished them happiness and blessings as they drove off in the Ramblin' Wreck from Georgia Tech, a little something special for the groom's father who passed away three years ago while on a mission trip in Honduras. It was a beautiful thing. I only wish I had the time to take more pictures of the whole day.

My mom had ridden up with another couple that day, so she would be riding back with me. We were lucky to get the hotel room for one more night, thank goodness, because I was exhausted and didn't want to make the drive at 10 o'clock at night. Sunday morning, mom and I got up, ate some breakfast, and hit the road. Goodbye beautiful mountains. Braves game here I come. I took mom home and headed back to Kennesaw to meet my friend Stefanie. We headed downtown to the Braves last game of the regular season. The stadium was packed! I've never seen Turner Field that full before. It was an awesome game and the Braves were able to pull it off with an 8-7 win over the Phillies. We then were able to enjoy a little bit of the REO Speedwagon concert after the game. Man those old guys sure know how to rock. :)

Overall, it was a fantastic weekend, filled with beautiful weather, fun, laughter, friends, and family. But unfortunately, I did not catch the bouquet, and I did not catch a foul ball... but I certainly caught a cold. Should've seen that one coming. I spent three days in the lovely fall weather...just not properly dressed. Oh well. I got chicken noodle soup and some airborne and I was good to go. Here it is Tuesday morning, and I am feeling much better. Now its time to study and start marking things off my to do list.

These photos are in reverse order. I still haven't quite adjusted to blogger yet.