Happy Plastic People

I know this blog is supposed to be about finding joy and being positive, but lets be honest, not every day is going to be a great day. So I strongly believe in venting, in some way, shape, or form. It's a good way to let it all out and begin to move on. But for this terrible day, I physically do not possess the words to describe how I feel. So I will express myself like millions of people do...through song...

Is there anyone that fails?

Is there anyone that falls?

Am I the only one in church today, feeling so small?

Cause when I take a look around

Everybody seems so strong

I know they'll soon discover

That I don't belong

So I'll tuck it all away, like everything's okay

If I make them all believe it, maybe I'll believe it too

So with a painted grin, I'll play the part again

So everyone will see me the way that I see them

Are we happy plastic people

Under shiny plastic steeples

With walls around our weakness

And smiles to hide our pain

But if the invitation's open

To every heart that has been broken

Maybe then we'll close the curtain

On our stained glass masquerade.

Is there anyone who's been there

Are there any hands to raise

Am I the only one who's traded

In the altar for a stage

The performance is convincing

And we know every line by heart

Only when no one is watching

Can we really fall apart

But would it set me free

If I dared to let you see

The truth behind the person

That you imagine me to be

Would your arms to open

Or would you walk away

Would the love of Jesus

Be enough to make you stay

...

Is there anyone that fails

Is there anyone that falls

Am I the only one in church today feeling so small?

-Casting Crowns

not-so-positivelyblue

We'll I've been having one of those days....actually the past few days. I've been stressed out about the piles of homework assignments, papers, and projects that keep stacking up and I can't seem to figure out how to tackle any of it. Plus, not to sound pathetic and "oh woe is me," but I've been kind of lonely. My best friend lives about 45 mins away, which doesn't seem far, but with our schedules, we can only see each other, or even talk for that matter, every now and then. So it makes it hard on days like these when I just need a friend. Things have just changed with life over the past year or so. A lot of friends have graduated, moved away, gotten married, or just fallen away, all the while I'm still struggling for an ounce of a social life with going to school 5 days a week and working 5 nights a week. But hey, thats life right? I know I just have to get up and do something. Mark things of my checklist and press on. So even though I've been not-so-positivelyblue lately, I know I have a lot to look forward to in life, and a lot to strive for.

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Apparently the fortune cookie I got last night knew exactly

how I've been feeling...coincidence? I think not.

Some may call it a God thing :)

Miss Procrastinator

I can give you 12 reasons why I keep putting off starting my research paper...

Maybe I should just let Lumpy do all my reading...

:)

Decisions Decisions

I have recently run into an opportunity to go to Israel. The trip would be for 10 days in February. It's not a mission trip like I originally thought when I first heard about it, but rather an educational trip. The tour hosts are the pastor and his wife of my hometown church, who have been to Israel before. I think the trip would be a fantastic spiritual and educational experience, and very humbling. We would travel to different sites and cities like the Sea of Galilee and Jerusalem, all the while studying God's word.

I'm not sure if I necessarily need to go, but I know I want to. I would love to travel more, visit a very unique and culturally different country, and be able to photograph the people and culture. But first and foremost I think it would be a big learning and growing experience for me. And it might help me in trying to decide what to do post college. Should I try to find an internship or assistantship with a photographer? Keep my job as a server and try to get my own photography business going? Apply to travel magazines? Or dive into missions and maybe find a photography job with the International Mission Board or the North American Mission Board? And going off that, should I look into going to Seminary for a graduate Missions degree? I just don't know. Really the only thing holding me back from jumping right into this opportunity to visit Israel is school. I would miss two days of one class and three days of two other classes. Being my last semester of college(YAY!) I don't know if this is a good idea. But then again, it's just a week and a half, how much would I really miss? And of course there's always the financial aspect. Can I afford it? Will there be support available from others? I just don't know.

So as you can see I've got some decision making to do, along with lots of prayer. So what do you think? Should I go for it if I'm feeling led to do so? Or should I hold off because the timing just isn't that great? Keep me in your prayers please!

15 Things That Make Me Happy

Sidewalk chalk.

My nephew playing in the sprinkler.

Larry the Lamb.

Our Atlanta Braves.

Static hair-do's.

The colors of fall.

Button bracelets.

Anything Toy Story related.

Abstractions of colors and textures.

The sound of giggles in the air.

A flavor festival in my mouth.

Rubber ducks.

The Krog Street bridge to nowhere.

Did I mention my nephew?

And of course, cloud filled, blue skies.

What things make you happy?

:)

Click images for better quality view.

Surely We Can Change

I have attempted to make a post three times now, each time I started writing and writing, and I got this feeling that I shouldn't post what I had written. I'm not really sure why, it just wasn't the right time I guess. So I'm starting over. My mind has been racing over the past few days and it's difficult to sum up, but I've got to get something out.

This past weekend was pretty rough. My family and I went to Nashville to visit my grandmother, Mama Jeanne. She is not doing well at all, and basically her body is shutting down. The doctors have told us that they give her 1-3 months. Heart breaking. We just went to spend time with her and keep her company. It was so good to see her. And it was extremely difficult to leave. Tears rolled down each of our faces. I pray that I can return for another visit very soon. We also stopped in Chattanooga on our way home to visit my dad's parents. My granddaddy is in an assisted living home, so that was another difficult part of our trip. I spent the rest of my Sunday night and all day Monday with a heavy heart. I could literally feel the pressure on my chest. So all this sadness was really getting to me. I had to get out of the apartment and go for a run. Running, though somewhat painful, is always refreshing to me. It gives me time to think, calm down, and rejuvenate. So twenty-five minutes later, I was refreshed with a confidence in knowing that God has a plan for my family and He holds us in His hands.

On a different note... that little run I took was the start of becoming a healthier me. The combination of busy college life and working at a pizza place the past four years has contributed to laziness and bad eating habits. The result...well lets just say I'm getting some "curves." So I've decided to do something about it. No more pizza, no more breadsticks, no more fast food, and no more soda. Cutting back on the white bread and sugar. This is not necessarily a diet, just making healthy choices. As best I can. I struggle with self control when it comes to sweets especially. So hopefully I can stick to this. At least until I've gained some self control and am satisfied with how its going. So goodbye my sweet Dr. Pepper... hello hydration. Goodbye pepperoni pizza... hello fruits and veggies. Wish me luck!

Here's to a happy heart and healthy body, with a refreshed attitude and positive mindset. :)

Hipstamatic

New iphone app that shoots lomography style. Love it.

So much to do... so little time.

fall in full force

If you have read my previous posts, you already know how much I love fall. I could seriously go on and on about all the wonderful things about this season, but I'll spare you the details.

So the greater Atlanta area finally got a break from the sweltering 90+ temperatures this past week and weekend. Perfect way to bring in the month of October. And on top of that, I got to spend the weekend in the north Georgia mountains. My best friend from high school was getting married on an absolutely beautiful farm about twenty minutes outside of Helen. So Friday afternoon, after I went to class and packed my bags, I hit the road and headed up GA-400 straight into Helen. I had a full tank of gas and my radio set to some good ol' classic rock. An hour and 45 mins later I stepped out of the hustle and bustle of the city life and into the beautiful, fresh mountain air.

That night included the dress rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. Then some much needed sleep, Saturday was going to be a long day. The next morning a few of us enjoyed some breakfast at the good old Huddle House(my first time...I prefer Waffle House) Then we had some down time and I got to see some real bears at a Bear Park. They were so big and so cute! Giant teddy bears. I just wanted to hug them all. We went for a little walk then headed back to the hotel to gather up our stuff and head out to the farm. Of course we were running a little late, so me and 4 other bridesmaids and 1 bride scurried to get ready. Hair pins and makeup was scattered all over the place, as the photographer hurried us on. We all got ready in under an hour and were ready for pictures. Let me just tell you, the setting for this wedding was absolutely gorgeous. The farm house and beautiful ruins of an old school house were set up on a hill with the beautiful blue mountains in the distance. Of course the white and green theme for the whole occasion was beautiful and went perfectly with the setting. The ceremony went perfectly and the reception was soon to follow...inside the open ruins of the school house. So beautiful. All your typical wedding traditions and events took place and it was time for the happy couple to be on their way.... we wished them happiness and blessings as they drove off in the Ramblin' Wreck from Georgia Tech, a little something special for the groom's father who passed away three years ago while on a mission trip in Honduras. It was a beautiful thing. I only wish I had the time to take more pictures of the whole day.

My mom had ridden up with another couple that day, so she would be riding back with me. We were lucky to get the hotel room for one more night, thank goodness, because I was exhausted and didn't want to make the drive at 10 o'clock at night. Sunday morning, mom and I got up, ate some breakfast, and hit the road. Goodbye beautiful mountains. Braves game here I come. I took mom home and headed back to Kennesaw to meet my friend Stefanie. We headed downtown to the Braves last game of the regular season. The stadium was packed! I've never seen Turner Field that full before. It was an awesome game and the Braves were able to pull it off with an 8-7 win over the Phillies. We then were able to enjoy a little bit of the REO Speedwagon concert after the game. Man those old guys sure know how to rock. :)

Overall, it was a fantastic weekend, filled with beautiful weather, fun, laughter, friends, and family. But unfortunately, I did not catch the bouquet, and I did not catch a foul ball... but I certainly caught a cold. Should've seen that one coming. I spent three days in the lovely fall weather...just not properly dressed. Oh well. I got chicken noodle soup and some airborne and I was good to go. Here it is Tuesday morning, and I am feeling much better. Now its time to study and start marking things off my to do list.

These photos are in reverse order. I still haven't quite adjusted to blogger yet.